Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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