i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
