I accidentally burped into my bong.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
