My nipple is on Facebook.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
