I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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