If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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