i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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