When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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