They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
