And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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