I like my sex mixed with concussions.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
