She's JV to your varsity
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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