This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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