My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
