Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
