this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
