Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We are all done wearing pants today
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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