Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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