I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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