I wish life had little blips of pornography
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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