Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she pinky promised me she was 18
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
