margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
