Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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