Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
