you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
