the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Randomize
