How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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