And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize