Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
