I seem to have left my pride at pride
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
