bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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