I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
