Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
