he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
