I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
