We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
