Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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