i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
