@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
