I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
