I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this beer tastes like vomit already
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
