Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
