kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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