I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
