Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
