Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
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I need you to use more vowels.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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