Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
