She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
