Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
