i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
