You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
