Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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