I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
