Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i need an iv and a liver transplant
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
