Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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