super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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