went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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