How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
