dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
