Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
