im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
