One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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