I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
third nipple confirmed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
