Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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